From BARRY JOHNSTON
I was delighted to read that left-handed users of assault rifles tend
to suffer from spent cartridges being ejected into their eyes (The Last
Word, 28 May).
Significant progress could be made towards world peace if a new rifle
could be designed which gave black eyes to right-handed users as well as
left-handed ones. Perhaps a deluxe version which ejected the cartridge into
the user’s eye before firing it could be invented too if a market could
be found.
I, for one, am prepared to help create this market. Given recent news
about how easy it is to bribe arms buyers, I publicly pledge £100
towards a new international black-eye peacemakers’ fund. By making these
rifles and bribing all major arms buyers, its sole objective is to re-equip
all the world’s armies with the new deluxe black eye rifle.
Barry Johnston Chester
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