Letter: Letters : Neutered mice

From Alan Chattaway

Surrey, BC, Canada

Here are some suggestions for Glasgow Museum, which has a problem with people
“emasculating” its computer mice by stealing their balls (Feedback, 4 January
and Letters, 18 January, p 48).

1. Get a large supply of really cheap mice.
2. Ask the computing public to donate the balls from their dead mice to
   science.
3. Switch to those expensive precision mice which have no balls, but use
   optical sensors to count the lines printed on a special metal mousepad. Glue the
   mousepad down.
4. Replace the mice with those flat, touch-sensitive pads now found on the
   best laptops, and also available as stand-alone accessories.
5. Replace the keyboards with the model that has a joystick between G, H and
   B similar to some older laptop designs.
6. Replace the male mice with female mice. Honeywell makes mice with no
   balls, but with two touch-sensitive protrusions responsive to sliding over the
   mouse pad.