Letter: Quantum Christmas

From Sean Smeltzer

I have recently received a number of distinctly unfestive e-mails pointing
out the impossibility of Santa Claus delivering presents to all the children in
the world in just one night.

We are all aware of the flaws in the conventional Santa Claus theory, but
seem to accept it quite readily. Children are not quite so gullible and require
a more rigorous proof of his existence. The answer to this problem lies in
quantum theory.

Consider this: On Christmas night, Santa is in a superposition of quantum
states, smeared out all the way round the planet, and each quantum state
delivers presents to a single child. This explains why it is so important that
children are asleep, because if just one child sees Santa, he immediately
collapses into a single state, in accordance with Heisenberg. This would mean
that no other children would receive presents that Christmas.

This theory elegantly avoids all the flaws in the conventional theory. The
only problem is that you will have to explain quantum theory to your children
before you tell them about Santa.

Croydon, Surrey