From Douglas Porter
I was propounding the theory that Santa Claus is a quantum entity and thus
delivers presents simultaneously to as many children as necessary something over
a year ago, so the theory has either spread via the bush telegraph or it was
just an idea whose time had come
(Letters, 16 January, p 53).
There was a corollary dealing with the possibility that a child might observe
Santa and thus disrupt his entire present-giving schedule. Since this would
cause a loss of presents to millions of innocent children, this must be deemed
an inherently “naughty” action, and, as is well-documented, Santa doesn’t visit
naughty children. Hence, fortunately, this never actually happens.
You may object that there is a causality problem here since the naughtiness
that prevents Santa’s visit occurs only if Santa actually visits, but devotees
of quantum theory regularly swallow larger camels than this.
Kenninghall, Norfolk
