Letter: Realities of death

From Jason McAllister

I have often been disturbed and even disgusted with attitudes towards death in our culture (13 October, p 40). Many people avoid talking about the realities of death when it happens and readily change the conversation. Others try to make light of it. They are so quick to make jokes about those who have only recently died. Instead of honouring their lives, some prefer to turn them into entertainment and the reality of death fades into the background.

I think it is sad that so many people die alone in a hospital attached to machines. In the past, more people died at home in familiar surroundings. Their final moments were spent in the midst of their loved ones and possessions, things that were deeply connected with their life. Death is too clinical and sterilised now, disconnected from the life they lived and the person they are.

A verse in the Bible says: “Better is it to go to the house of mourning than to go to the banquet house, because that is the end of all mankind; and the one alive should take it to his heart.” (Ecclesiastes 7:2) By taking death to heart rather than softening it or avoiding it altogether, we can put our lives in perspective. We can avoid the futility of materialism and appreciate the value of spirituality. The time we spend with our loved ones becomes more precious. We also need to learn how to mourn properly. Our aversion to the harsh realities of death and a “let’s get on with it” attitude are very damaging. We need to mourn fully – to express the total loss we feel when our loved ones are torn away from us. Then we can heal more deeply.

I appreciate the fact that you publish articles like these because they touch on other important aspects of our human experience.

Horsham, Victoria, Australia